Lost

I'm sitting here in this office. All sorts of thoughts flicker through my mind. The mind - I have long since learnt - is the hardest thing to tame. How do I benefit from all these things rushing through this head of mine?

So it's established that I've been thinking and thinking and thinking. But to what end? Who knows? I think I might be a little lost. Where do I go from here? Where will I be in a couple of years? I know that I can't just sit here and wait for things to happen.

Yet, I just can't seem to move. Lost, lost, lost! I refuse to be!

Work - The woman God will never make

After complaining to everyone I spoke with last night about how much I missed work I am now convinced that I'm a workaholic.

I guess it's not so bad. If this is how I get my rush then this is just how I get my rush! This morning I slipped out of bed and oh hell did I feel wonderful. Having a sense of purpose is very important to me. Knowing that I make a difference in this world and that I have the power to trigger change keeps me ticking faster than I should.

Oh this is my life! My wonderful life. My life of bliss filled with work. Yes! This is the life.

Work is like the woman God will never make. Work will always be interesting, caring, rewarding and won't ever create a heart in a heartless creature just to break it.

Image Info:

Title: The Perfect Woman

Source: http://www.i26.photobucket.com/

Flash and Burn

It's no secret that I need anger management. It's also no fucking secret that I'd like to....well I'll not say in public just what it is I'd like to do.

My anger is flash and burn. I've had one two many flashed today. I woke up happy this morning. Now it's all fucked up. Ah well...can't always get it my way.

So I'm going home in a few...gonna catch up on some reading and do lots of thinking. I've got a few things I need to really think about. You know how every now and then you find a person you like...well I've found a miserable person that I like. The thing is I barely have enough energy to deal with the things already present in my life so I don't know how I'll handle it.

Sacrifice, that's how we deal with it. I hate that fucking word.

Damn lucky? Or jinxed?

In our business people say you're lucky when you get all the front pagers. You're still considered lucky if you get the stories which generate the most interest even when they don't make the front page.

Well in my country crime almost always makes the front page and even when it doesn't, rest assured that it'll get a few thousand hits on the website.

So I suppose most people would call me a lucky sucker 'cause I've been getting all the shootings whenever I work the night shift. Shootings in our business and in this country is a sure way to hit the front page.

To be honest with you; I'm sick of it all. These days - it's the new trend - when people hear that I'm on the late shift they groan and think shooting. Guess what? They were right again tonight!

Are we all crazy in this industry that I've made my life? I mean, am I damn lucky or just jinxed? Hey, you'd better watch out. The next time I'm on the late shift you just might get shot!

Image Info:
Source: http://www.subeta.net/

ME + Late Shift = DISASTER

Maybe my boss should ban me from working the late shift for this year. Every late shift I've worked so far has been a disaster. Shootings and last night there was a major fire.

Well, I came to work yesterday and it's today and I'm still here. It's about 1.15am and I'm beginning to wonder if spending so much time in this office makes me a workaholic. Hmm...no I don't want any of you to answer.

Well my boss looks happy enough. He's gotten most of the goods tonight. I hope he knows I'll be more than my usual more-than-a-hour-late later this morning.

Image Info:

Source: http://www.flickr.com/

The Desk: Epitome of Hierarchy

Where I come from your choice to be or not to be a gossiper can either make or break you. For me and a handful of colleagues it's gained us some respect.

                                  The Epitome of Hierarchy
             (Image from www.blondiensc.typepad.com)

Where I come from a desk, as I was surprised to learn, is the epitome of hierarchy.So yesterday as I sat in our first micro-management session of 2010 the dictator popped the question: "So who's next in line for a desk...in terms of hierarchy?"

I pretended not to hear our dictator. My eyes were glued to the floor and my lips zipped shut. Where I come from it doesn't matter if you don't want to answer a question. The gossipers among us take it upon themselves to answer on our behalf.

Of course, after the dictator's chief source openly informed him I was next in line, I refused the desk. Some people here don't think I'm very smart. How could I have refused the epitome of hierarchy? I must be mad. Crazy I tell you! Refuse a desk? The symbol of seniority in this great place! Ha!

Where I come from an old desk, with draws full of God knows what horrors, doesn't improve my skills nor does it provide me with motivation of any kind. Where I come from only a good sense of humour and passion for what I do keep me going.

Desks, in the place I come from, really represent a false sense of value and serve as reminders to most in here that they've hit the highest place in the organisational structure they can go.

Anywhere but here...

It's almost 8:30 on New Years Eve and I'm still in the office. This is how fun my life can get so plz ppl don't get too psyched! Anyway, as I was saying I'd rather be anywhere but here, unfortunately my options are home...oh yeah and home. But since I prefer to look at the bright side of crappy situations...give me a sec I'm thinking of bright sides to this... Aha I got a bright side! The new year will meet me with a clean room but a basket full of laundry...wait that was suppose to be a bright side....let me think again...

 (Photo from www.istockphoto.com)

Hmmm...thinking....thinking...oh yeah! I can spend the night at Raine's and we'll have grey goose, write poems and think of future blogs! And as fun as that is (really I think that is fun) I still don't want to be there. So where do I want to be? I want to be out dancing in the New Year. The problem? I don't know much persons so that I can like call and be, "Hey, what you up to let's do something" Now Raine does but right now Raine is occupied! Yes, I'd like to be anywhere but here but I'd also like to be somewhere where I am going to have a good time. But instead I have to spend the New Year at home (alone) and think of the year I had and what I hope happens in the New Year! Mind you I'm not making a resolution, I don't do that, but I'll certainly be doing some reflecting...that Grey Goose sounds like the best company I'll be having this night! Happy New Year y'all!