Lost

I'm sitting here in this office. All sorts of thoughts flicker through my mind. The mind - I have long since learnt - is the hardest thing to tame. How do I benefit from all these things rushing through this head of mine?

So it's established that I've been thinking and thinking and thinking. But to what end? Who knows? I think I might be a little lost. Where do I go from here? Where will I be in a couple of years? I know that I can't just sit here and wait for things to happen.

Yet, I just can't seem to move. Lost, lost, lost! I refuse to be!

Dirty Dancing

One, two three,
I sip on this black label whiskey.
Four, five, six,
I begin to shake my hips.
Seven, eight, nine
Slowly we start to grind.

You've got yours
And I've got mine
But in this dance it's just you and I.

One, two three,
I sip on this black label whiskey.
Four, five, six,
I begin to shake my hips.
Seven, eight, nine
Slowly we start to grind.




You behind
Me in front
We bump and grind like no one's around.

You take my hand
And I follow dutifully
Our dirty dancing just got more feisty.
A hand on my waist
As I run mine through your hair
We need to remember this is a public place.

One, two three,
I sip on this black label whiskey.
Four, five, six,
I begin to shake my hips.
Seven, eight, nine
Slowly we start to grind.

Artist: Pedro Alvarez
Piece: Street Dance
Location: http://www.videposters.co.uk/

Oh Raine such enthusiasm!

My dearest Raine,

Oh love your concern warms my heart and the way you have taken care of me keeps me going. I too hate that I have the flu. But we just have to let it run its course and I'll be back to normal.

And darling let your exuberance shine through. You deserve to be happy, happy, happy and if that which cannot be discussed here makes you happy I say dive in, enjoy but do be cautious.

Anyway, I will keep this brief because as you know the cold still has me down. The only thing I seem to be thinking of is my bed and blanket and some cold meds. Why did I think I was well enough to come to work again?

As you know my weekend away was a blast and well can't wait for our weekend out together. I have been too long without spending time with you. Oh and I don't think you'd be that miserable without me.

What I do know is that my life would not be near as exciting as it is with you in it so it is I who am grateful that you're in my life. All the best in your new quest.

Yours Always,
Rose V

Rose V!

Rose, Rose, Rose!

Hell, heck, hell! I am soooooooooooooooooo happy tonight. I guess I'm riding one of my really high highs. This is too personal to discuss here. I'll tell you all about it though.

I'm glad you're back. It sucks that you're home with the flu. I missed you so much today. You know how boring our lives can get without each other. So sorry I didn't come over tonight. You know how work is always getting in my way. Choices...I'm working on making the right ones this year.

So I practiced a few of the things you were telling me about on the phone earlier. Man, did they work. You know, Rose, in so many ways you are the woman behind my success. I don't know what I'd do without you. Well maybe I do know what I'd do without you. I'd be miserable!

This is supposed to be just a short note to you. I want it to serve as a record of just how happy I can be sometimes. Even now I am feeling some of my old bitterness right at the edge of this happiness. I'll deal with it though. Happy, happy, happy! Rose, Rose, Rose! I love you!

Your Raine,

Always.

You

I woke up from a bad dream this morning,
And I thought of you,
Of you I think when I'm mourning,
It's you who always comes to my rescue.

You know how I am then,
How lost I am after sleep,
What I'm like when I weep.

You, you, you!
Everything is you!

Work - The woman God will never make

After complaining to everyone I spoke with last night about how much I missed work I am now convinced that I'm a workaholic.

I guess it's not so bad. If this is how I get my rush then this is just how I get my rush! This morning I slipped out of bed and oh hell did I feel wonderful. Having a sense of purpose is very important to me. Knowing that I make a difference in this world and that I have the power to trigger change keeps me ticking faster than I should.

Oh this is my life! My wonderful life. My life of bliss filled with work. Yes! This is the life.

Work is like the woman God will never make. Work will always be interesting, caring, rewarding and won't ever create a heart in a heartless creature just to break it.

Image Info:

Title: The Perfect Woman

Source: http://www.i26.photobucket.com/

Fuck Different

The game. I've always refused to play it. But then it hit me tonight...maybe I should be playing.

You know every now and then we meet someone and we think they're different? Well, there's no such thing. I was just telling a friend about this. Different. The sort of different I look for, the kind I've seen recently, it'll never manifest in this world.

This world is a cold fucking place but I refuse to be one of the cold people in it. Principles, I live by them. I'll never be in the game but so what? Alone, it's how I survive and trust is the thing with which I am most greedy.

Fuck different.

(You notice how I keep saying fuck everything? That should tell you what sort of writer's moods I've been having!)

Rose V, my love

My sweetest Rose:

Now you know I don't do corny well but I'll try tonight. I'll try for you, my love.

Of course I'll miss you this weekend. Like I told you once before, knowing that the distance is there makes the difference. I'll call you at least twice a day until you're back. I just hope I don't catch you during an interesting moment.

Thank you for loving me so much. You have no idea how it feels to have someone like you love me...or maybe you do. It is you Rose V who has taught me that love isn't something I had imagined and that the fairy-tale-things are worth wanting in life.

Ignoring you...well I've got to know your moods don't I? If I didn't then we wouldn't be this close. I hope we never have a falling out as you put it. In fact, I can assure you that we won't. I'll always know when to back off and give you space to chill.

You know that empty feeling I've complained about? The one that makes me such an attention seeker sometimes? Well you almost fill it, Rose. Now this is my turn to my corny: you make me whole Rose. When I'm with you, my love, I forget the past pains and I remember to live.

I've gotten so much from you Rose that all I can do is love you as much as I can and let you win all the petty fights we have. Anything, anything at all to keep you in my life.

I wish you all the best for the weekend. I hope you'll create some happy memories. Well, I'm not sure how our schedules will go tomorrow. If we manage the time then I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. Most likely, you'll have to drag me out of bed.

Until then, my darling, you'll be close to my heart.

Your Raine,

Now and Forever. Always.

Why I love you

My dearest Raine,

My darling how are you doing my love? Do you realise that I have not written you in a while? Therefore I am going to take this time that I am passing in this office because I don't want to go home to an empty house to tell you why I love you.

I can tell you many things but I feel it is time I publicly announce to the internet world how I feel for you. Although I still am of the belief that not a lot of the internet world follows us.

The first reason I love you is because you indulge pointless letters much like this one. You indulge me my dear like I indulge on chocolate and ice-cream. Now I know that these things are not good for me but isn't that what indulgence is after all?

My dearest this over indulgence of yours brings me to the second reason why I love you. I love the way you ignore me. I know you are probably thinking, "What the f#@$?" (Well you know how I feel about using those dirty words.)

Yes I said ignore. Let me tell you why I love the way you ignore me. Because of your ignorance we have not had any major falling out. You ignore me when I am being a bitch and I ignore you when you're...well I ignore you at times too.The beautiful thing is you already know this.

And the third and final reason I love is because you are going to read this missive smile and tell me that you think it is funny and you like it and so forth and such. When in actuality just like me you are wondering why I even bothered to pen you this. My dear the third reason I love you is because you always find the good in the things I do even if it is hard to find it in the first place.

Well my dearest, since I cannot lie to you, I wrote this seemingly senseless blog for several reasons. Firstly because I will not be around for the weekend and I will miss you terribly and so I want to leave something for you to remember me by regardless of the fact that we will be in contact via the phone the entire time of our separation.

Secondly, and this is the reason why I actually started this corny and crappy piece, because I am here wasting time in the hopes that my date (and for those of you who may be confused, Raine and I have an open relationship) will hurry his ass up so I can leave this place.

This brings me to the end of my note and I wish you all the best my dearest and I really do love you! Hugs and kisses till we meet again.

Write soon,
Yours always,
Rose V