Reconnecting

In anger and pain
I banished from my mind
The name and shape of you.
I snuffed out all hope
I allowed malice and spite to grow
And then just like that,
I killed all feelings good and bad
Until you no longer lived in my mind.

Years came and years went
But you had stolen shelter
In the shadows of my mind.
In fleeting moments
You showed yourself to me.
But by then,
No emotions were felt:
No anger, no pain
No malice or spite.
You were just another face
In the sea of faces lost in my mind.

Then one day,
Unexpected and true to form
You emerged out of the shadows
And into my life.
A living breathing form,
Seeking reconnection
Stretching a hand out
In supplication.

Emotions once again flooded me.
Not anger, not pain
Nor malice, nor spite
This time,
Tears of relief flooded my eyes.
For things were made clear to me,
Things I dreaded to believe
Things that you admitted to
Things that soothed my heart,
Giving me hope to trust in you once more.

But wisdom and caution
Voiced restraint
And now like two strangers 
Connecting for the first time
We try once again
To attain some sort
Of father daughter relationship
That is stable if only in name.